I like mine kinky.....

I have used been told to use clothes pins (pegs to all the Aussies) on my nipples.

I have had them pinched by fingers.

I have had them bitten.

I have had them sucked.

I have had them sucked into large syringe type things with suction play.

Up until a few weeks ago...I had never had the pleasure of using nipple clamps.

Sir surprised me mid play by putting nipple clamps on me.

I will say, previous to that, I was nervous about the thought of them, having heard stories of how much they hurt...and having never been one to enjoy nipple play in the past. But, I was pleasantly surprised at how much I enjoyed it.

Feeling Sir yank on the chain sent a direct fizzle of excitement straight to the clit...leaving me feeling decidedly "clenchy" on the inside.

(Boys...this is the female equivalent of being so hard it hurts.)

My cunt actually clenches involuntarily looking for something to grip onto.

Only issue I had with the clamps was they never seemed to be tight enough and with a little tug, they slipped off.

I went shopping the next day for a set of clover clamps. Needless to say...the shop I went to didn't have any.

But they did have this very pretty pair with beads and danglies.

The past couple of weeks have been hectic, both of us busy, both of us sick with the winter cough and cold that seems standard, and up until last night, they hadn't been used.

Last night Sir was in an unusual mood.
I had been particularly cheeky, teasing Him on and off during the day, but when the kids had all been put to bed...I was about to pay for the Sassy mood I had been in.( why these moods surprise Him, I will never know. He knew me as Sassy before He knew my real name. Surely the name gives a clue??)

He teased me a little, yanking my hair, being rough, calling me all those names I love to hear out of HIS mouth.....then He asked me what I wanted.

I was a little hesitant to answer, but the yank on the hair and Him repeating the question had me sure He was waiting for an answer...and quickly.

It is something that I am not entirely comfortable with.
I feel like it shouldn't be about what I want, but having said that, I do understand the reasoning that He cannot always know how I am feeling. He points out to me that even when I answer those types of questions...this is no guarantee that I will get what I ask for. I can tell Him I want a cup of coffee....but I may get tea instead. I still get a hot drink, just not what it is I am craving.

"Please Sir...may I have the nipple clamps, the butt plug, the hitachi and the blindfold?"

I didn't get the blindfold, but I was face down anyway.

I did get the butt plug...but not the small one I was expecting.

I did get the nipple clamps, but not until I was "whimpering and pleading" permission to cum.

(Sir has really taken a liking to making me beg for permission and denying me for what seems like forever before granting it)

I was borderline finding out what punishment I would receive for cumming after I had been told not to when the clamps went on. It was instantaneous and involuntary. I was on the edge in seconds.

Some more "whimpering and pleading" later.... the hitachi went on my clit, while Sir fucked me.. I had the clamps on my nipples and the butt plug up my arse.

I thought I had died and gone to heaven.
I also thought I may pass out from the strength of the orgasm I was finally allowed to have.

Most girls like jewellery. I like mine kinky.....

Please Sir...may I cum??

It has been no secret that I have had issues with orgasms in the past.

To put it bluntly... I didn't.
I did by myself..but never with a partner.

I do now.
Insert big cheesy grin

They require a little time and patience, but I do get there.

Do I have an orgasm every time Sir and I have sex??
No.

There are times when He takes what He pleases (which I love) and vaginal sex is not something I can orgasm from.
I need direct clitoral stimulation.
Vibrator or tongue. Fingers don't seem to do the job since I got my clit hood pierced.

Last night was a first for me.

Some snuggling in bed after the kids were asleep turned into me getting my nipples pinched and pulled, which evolved into some violet wand play which left me wriggling on the bed like a fish out of water, which then turned into me getting oral sex.

It is not something I was ever really comfortable with before, but since I get orgasms...it is high up there on the favourites list now.

Sir has come to know my body and reactions very well...He knows exactly where to lick, suck and touch to get me to orgasm.
Last night however...things were a little different.

The norm for me is to ask permission before orgasm, which is something like

"Sir..please may I cum?"

To which I normally get a "Yes, you may"

Last night I got a "No you can't"

The sassy cheeky devil in my head said "What the fuck? You have GOT to be kidding. NO??"

The actual sound that came out was "Ohhhhhhhhh god"

Sir stopped licking that exact spot for all of about 30 seconds and went right back at it.

I asked again.

Again He said No.

And again, and again, and again.

By this point I wanted to cry. Part of me wanted to cum so bad it was hurting and the other part was wondering if I DID get permission, would I even be able to at this point?
I am damn sure He could hear the begging in my voice as I repeatedly asked permission, only to be denied.
He rose above me and began to fuck me, whispering in my ear that He owned my orgasms, and I was not allowed to cum until He said, telling me I was His dirty slut, pulling my hair back, hand at throat, all the things He knew would turn me on more and more.
Then He went back to licking me, getting me right back to where I had been on the edge for what seemed like an eternity.

I asked yet again, this time to finally be granted permission, but I had asked about 25 licks too soon, and it felt like I was never going to get over that edge.
Sir's knowledge of my body was on show as He felt me on the edge and pushed the button I needed pushed...sending me into space.

It went on and on and on and on and on until I wanted to cry from the exquisite pain I was in.

I then got fucked hard. Hard enough that I thought I would have trouble walking today.

I had my first lesson on Orgasm denial. I am not entirely sure I liked it, but I guess thats not the point is it?

Another sign I am owned....

I have always been fascinated by piercings.

I had my belly button done about 11 years ago.

I had my nipples done over 12 months ago.

Last Saturday I got a VCH.

Being a Vertical Clitoral Hood piercing.

Wasn't what I had planned for the day by any stretch of the imagination.

I wonder if this will be the end??

I know I am booked in for another tattoo, to add to the 5 I already have.

The bit I love the most??

I love knowing I have a barbell through me, that Sir chose, that He was there to watch, hold my hand and that it is a sign of His ownership on me.

Alone, but never lonely again....

I sit here alone.

There is no one in the house but me.

But yet, I am not lonely.

Sir is with me always.
He left a little while ago, leaving me here, marked, bruised, and very happy.

This has been a weekend of firsts for me.

The first time I have spent a weekend with someone since I became single over a year ago.
I have spent time with friends, but this is different.

We weren't more than 15 feet apart the entire weekend.
Normally, after that long in one persons company, I would be craving a little solitude, a little 'me' space, some time alone to do the things I wish to do, and yet I sit here, wishing he was beside me.

We ticked quite a few things off the 'bucket list' of things we wish to experience together.
Some D/s, some not.

I have new barbells in my nipple piercings.
Placed there by Sir.
These fit, the others were too big, now they sit flush, each side, with no space to get caught on things.

It was not quite the weekend either of us were expecting.
We both have ex partners, children and life sometimes gets in the way of best laid plans.

But even though it wasn't quite what I was expecting, in some ways, it was better than I thought.
To be able to wake up in his arms twice, to tick morning sex off the bucket list, to introduce Sir to some of my family, to meet friends of his, to laugh at things in the sex shop, to just be a 'normal' couple for a little while, was something I didn't even know how much I would enjoy.

I have blogged in the past that my ex-Master got a part of me no one else did, and I stand by that statement.
He did.
He no longer gets that part of me.

Instead, I found that there is more that I can give, things I have taken for granted, things I used to do a LONG time ago, that were never appreciated, taken for granted, are now the same little things that I can, will, and want to do again.
I was taught to appreciate my inner slut.
Now I revel in it.

Knowing I can walk around naked, all the bits of me that are pre-loved, used and worn with age are not only liked, but appreciated and loved.

I am different with Sir than I have been with others.
I cannot sit next to him and not touch him in some way, it may only be a hand on the leg, or a brush or arms, but there is a need inside me to touch.
Sitting at his feet, while having coffee with my family.....not a big deal to most, and yet to me, Fucking awesome. My family think nothing of me sitting on the floor, it is a place they find me often, and yet they cannot know how 'right' it felt for me to be there, at HIS feet.
I can do the little things, get a drink without asking, I can see by the look on his face when he needs to be touched, hugged, kissed. There is a connection there like I have never known before.
And yet when we are alone, I get to be his dirty little slut.
I do not have to be ashamed of the things I want, of the fact that I love the way he fucks me, touches me, leaves me marked.

This upcoming week will be a test for me.
I have always had to be the strong one, do things for myself, take care of things.
I am not used to being looked after, not sure when the last time was I could admit that I wasn't ok.
I have surgery this week.
Up to a week in hospital, then another full week of bed rest.
I am looking forward to being better. Not fixed completely, but better than I am now.
No more daily pain.
No more bleeding.
No more worry about having to be careful where I go, what I do, and whether or not I have a bag and the things I need with me 'just in case'

I am a lucky girl.
To be able to give everything I have always wanted to give, to someone I love, trust, respect, honour and adore, and to know that it is appreciated, and those things are returned to me......there are no words to explain how that makes me feel.

I shared my blog this morning with Sir, while we were laying in bed.
I have waited to show him, I wanted to do it in person, to explain my journey, to let him know that this is where I do my thinking, to explain why there haven't been many blog posts lately.
I knew I could do all this over the phone, or online, but I didn't want to.
Much like telling him that I had fallen in love with him, it wasn't something I wanted to drop casually into the conversation, nor something I wanted to do from a distance.
I wanted to do it while I was safe in his arms.
I inherently knew that he would understand.
The fact he has someone in his past who he loves, but is not 'in love' with means it is easier to share my journey with him. I know he will understand. And the majority of it, I had already told him in some form or another.
Sir knows about my ex-Master, knows how much I am grateful of all the things he taught me, it is because of him, that I am the way I am. How can I not appreciate that?


But this is different.

This is Love, our life together, with a dash or 5 of kink to spice it up.
We might be a long way apart in terms of distance, but this is no LDR.
We plan on having as much time together as we can, whether it be vanilla with kids, or 'just us' or kinky and out and out dirty, slutty, forbidden, glorious fun on our own.

The thing that sticks in my mind the most is...

I was married, and could sit here with my ex in the same room and I was lonely.

Now I am with Sir, and I can sit here alone, but I am never lonely.

motherfucker.....

I HATE my body sometimes.

MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!!


why??????

FOR FUCKS SAKES.........