The lucky slut....

Do you know why I am lucky??

No...good. Grab a coffee and find a comfy seat, I'm about to tell you.

Two years ago....

I was newly single. BDSM had never entered my world except for the occasional joke about me wearing thigh high boots and using handcuffs on guys who pissed me off. Never in my life have I owned or worn thigh high boots, nor at that time, had I ever used handcuffs.

I had the reputation of being a bitch. This came about from the guy who's front teeth I punched out when he refused to stop grabbing my arse on a dance floor while out with some friends.

I knew what I wanted, and what I didn't. I am, and always have been a headstrong female. I like to get what I want, but unlike most women I know. I ask, or I get it for myself. I refuse to play stupid juvenile games to get things. Means more to me if I work for it and earn it.

I was not in a relationship of any kind. I was not WANTING a relationship of any kind. I was enjoying the freedom to do what I wanted, when I wanted without being made to feel guilty when I went out.

Over that 12 month period, I delved into BDSM. I began to explore the kinky side of me I had hidden through shame. The feelings of sexual arousal from 'kinky' things no longer made me feel ashamed, no longer did I have to deny it. There was this whole world of people just like me out there, people who revelled in being 'kinky' It opened my eyes a LOT.

I met a guy, a Dom, who became my Master. Over the next 9 months, I learnt more than I thought possible, but I know I never gave it everything. I always held back a part of me. Not through shame, or the desire to keep secrets, but with the knowledge that this was a temporary relationship. I wasn't about to hand over everything to someone I knew would eventually walk away.
Looking back, it was not an entirely emotionally healthy relationship, but it was exactly what I needed at the time. Some who paid some attention, someone who could communicate and something temporary to help me get through the end of a 14 year relationship. Sounds harsh, but it worked for the both of us, we both got what we wanted at the end of the day.


One year ago..........

I hit the end of that D/s relationship. It had taught me a lot. What I wanted, and what I didn't. It taught me to value myself like I hadn't known how to do before. It taught me I had a lot to offer someone...one day.

I began to venture into the public kink scene. I was enjoying that single feeling again..this time with a lot more confidence than I had before. I knew what I was worth, and that only someone deserving would get the things I had to offer.

One year ago, I could honestly tell you that the only person in the world who supported me was me.
I did everything. On my own. By myself. I was the strong one....always. When I needed to let go, I cried in the shower, got out, and got on with it.


This week....

This week has shown me how lucky I am.
It has been a HUGE month, emotionally.
Sir and I are moving in together...or rather, I am moving in with Sir and his kids...taking the total of kids at our dinner table to 5 every night.
I have been packing the house that I have lived in for 15 years.
I have been dealing with kids who fluctuate between 'I dont wanna go' and raging excitement in the space of 5 minutes flat.
I have been dealing with an ex who is threatening to take me to court.
I have been dealing with friends and family who have been less than supportive at times.
I have been dealing with the internal emotions of leaving what is my hometown, and the only place my kids have ever lived.
All the while, internally excited about starting a new life with Sir and his kids in a new place.
Yesterday I came crashing down.
Last day of school for the kids resulted in tears from all and sundry. The teachers, the kids, the friends, the Principal, and me. I guess to them, the finality of it all hit.
I sat looking at the chaos in the house, half packed, crap everywhere, things to get rid of, things to store, things to pack, things to sell... all things no one can help me with.
I didn't have an emotional 2 cents to rub together.
I decided I needed to see Sir more than I needed anything else.
So I got in the car.

This is where the lucky bit cuts in....

I got there, opened the door and was almost immediately enveloped in a hug. I was told to go lay on the bed.
My shoes were removed, a drink handed to me and Sir held me in His arms for a good 20 minutes...knowing intuitively that I didn't want to talk, explain....that I needed Him, silence and support.
He told me He loved me. He held me. He wiped away the tears.
He asked me where my collar was, told me to get it and sat in the chair, a pillow at His feet.
I knelt before Him, while He buckled my collar on, then stroked my hair as I knelt at His feet, my head on His knees.

We don't have a conventional D/s relationship.
I occasionally tell Him to get fucked. I often stick my finger up at Him. I can be cheeky. I am often a smart arse. I am stubborn when it comes to doing things for myself, but at the same time, pushy at Sir when I want to help Him with something he is doing.
He appreciates me for my strength, admires my independence and enjoys the sexual self confidence I have, but those things are all outweighed by what I get in return.

I get His respect.
I get His communication.
I get His unconditional support.
I get His Dominance.
And most of all, I get His love.

He appreciates me for who I am, not who He thinks I should be, or who He wants me to become.

How lucky can one girl get??

Please Sir...may I cum??

It has been no secret that I have had issues with orgasms in the past.

To put it bluntly... I didn't.
I did by myself..but never with a partner.

I do now.
Insert big cheesy grin

They require a little time and patience, but I do get there.

Do I have an orgasm every time Sir and I have sex??
No.

There are times when He takes what He pleases (which I love) and vaginal sex is not something I can orgasm from.
I need direct clitoral stimulation.
Vibrator or tongue. Fingers don't seem to do the job since I got my clit hood pierced.

Last night was a first for me.

Some snuggling in bed after the kids were asleep turned into me getting my nipples pinched and pulled, which evolved into some violet wand play which left me wriggling on the bed like a fish out of water, which then turned into me getting oral sex.

It is not something I was ever really comfortable with before, but since I get orgasms...it is high up there on the favourites list now.

Sir has come to know my body and reactions very well...He knows exactly where to lick, suck and touch to get me to orgasm.
Last night however...things were a little different.

The norm for me is to ask permission before orgasm, which is something like

"Sir..please may I cum?"

To which I normally get a "Yes, you may"

Last night I got a "No you can't"

The sassy cheeky devil in my head said "What the fuck? You have GOT to be kidding. NO??"

The actual sound that came out was "Ohhhhhhhhh god"

Sir stopped licking that exact spot for all of about 30 seconds and went right back at it.

I asked again.

Again He said No.

And again, and again, and again.

By this point I wanted to cry. Part of me wanted to cum so bad it was hurting and the other part was wondering if I DID get permission, would I even be able to at this point?
I am damn sure He could hear the begging in my voice as I repeatedly asked permission, only to be denied.
He rose above me and began to fuck me, whispering in my ear that He owned my orgasms, and I was not allowed to cum until He said, telling me I was His dirty slut, pulling my hair back, hand at throat, all the things He knew would turn me on more and more.
Then He went back to licking me, getting me right back to where I had been on the edge for what seemed like an eternity.

I asked yet again, this time to finally be granted permission, but I had asked about 25 licks too soon, and it felt like I was never going to get over that edge.
Sir's knowledge of my body was on show as He felt me on the edge and pushed the button I needed pushed...sending me into space.

It went on and on and on and on and on until I wanted to cry from the exquisite pain I was in.

I then got fucked hard. Hard enough that I thought I would have trouble walking today.

I had my first lesson on Orgasm denial. I am not entirely sure I liked it, but I guess thats not the point is it?

The "slave" number issue.......

I found a blog.

There's a surprise... NOT

But I digress and before I continue.. I warn you.. Please read the following with sarcasm inserted in the appropriate places. If you cannot tell where the sarcasm needs to be, this post may not be suitable for you.

Anyway, I found this blog.. written by a "slave".

I am not normally one to publicly criticise someone for sharing their feelings and documenting their journey, but I am going to, without guilt, due to the fact that I am not posting a link, nor is she ever likely to read my blog and feel bad.

Every post she has written makes me cringe.
Badly spelt, words inappropriately placed which alter the whole meaning of the point she is attempting to make, grammar seems to be a dirty word, and yet, her whole tone is that of someone who is educated.
This is an educated woman in her 40's from what I can gather, not a young 18 year old with a "drop out" degree from the school of hard knocks.

But I read on, curious as to whether she actually has a point to get to, it can be almost like a car accident.. you know you don't really want to see the carnage, but you cannot stop yourself watching.

She has a slave number.

And I can hear you saying "What's your point?"

My point is thus....

I have always held the belief that when someone is given the gift of a slave number, that their Domly Dom type is the person who is doing the registering.
Kinda like getting a collar.
You don't just go shopping for your own collar, then present it to yourself, or god forbid, just show up wearing one. (unless it is just a fashion accessory)
They are actually supposed to mean something.
(This is also the reason I will never EVER buy my own wedding ring)(again)

Similarly...the slave number.

If your Domly Dom type wants you to have one, my thoughts are he will get it and present it when the slave is deserving.

Noooooo, this badly blogging slave asked permission and then went out and got her own.

Good for her!!

Now.... I ponder, does it mean the same when you have to get your own?

Does the coffee not taste better when someone else makes it?
Does food not always taste better when someone else cooks?
Does the car not always sparkle a little more when someone else cleans it?

Does that collar not mean more that you earn it?

Maybe she did earn it I hear you say.....

Maybe she did. And if she did..does she not wonder why her Master didn't make the effort to do something like that for her?
After all, her whole world revolves around pleasing him....

If I went out and got my own slave number..it would mean jack shit to me..permission granted or otherwise.

Untitled writing...

She walks through the door, pulling her case behind her, handbag slung over one shoulder and a weary look on her face.
She sees Him standing in the kitchen, the aroma of dinner cooking makes her stomach rumble in hunger, He walks towards her, beer in hand, a smile on His face. Dropping the handbag on the floor, she wraps her arms around Him, holding tight, relishing in the feel of His body against hers, her head rests on His chest, it is the feeling of being home.
 No amount of contact mid week makes up for the feeling of being in His arms, drawing on His strength, taking a deep breath, inhaling the essence that is Him.
He leads her to the kitchen, placing His beer on the counter, she is tired, but excited to be there, eager to have time with Him.

He wraps her in His arms again, kissing her, holding her tight, she relaxes into Him. It feels like home when He is close. A hand wraps around her ponytail, twisting it gently as He kisses her, playfully tugging it softly.
Without warning, her head is pulled back sharply, the gentle hand has disappeared. He is forceful, there are no illusions that if she resists, that the hand will pull harder, sharper, forcing her head back, exposing her neck, holding her firmly in place. His other hand grabs her under the chin, holding her still as His lips take what they want, His tongue pillaging in her mouth, teeth biting her lips. His mouth moves to her ear, whispering softly
'Take your things to the bedroom my little fucktoy, you know where they belong, you have 3 minutes to be back here minus your shoes and with your collar in your hand'

Her weariness has disappeared, not knowing what is coming next, knowing that if He were to put His hand inside her panties, she would be dripping wet already, she rushes to do as she is asked.
Slightly less than 3 minutes later, she re-appears as ordered, collar in hand, bare feet on the cool tiles.
He looks at the floor at His feet, she kneels instantly, hands together in front of her, offering Him the collar she holds. He ignores the collar, takes hold of her hair, again pulling her head back, forcing her to look up at Him.

She can smell the control, see it written on His face, feel it in the strength of His hands in her hair. He says nothing, just looks at her face, reading the tiredness, the excitement and the fear of not knowing what is coming next, He takes hold of the collar, all the while looking at her face, still saying nothing.

The hand disappears from her hair, her head dropping forward. He places the collar around her neck, buckling it tight. When He is sure it is fastened to His liking, a fistful of her hair makes her aware she is expected to stand. In one smooth movement, she stands and is spun around to face the nearest wall in seconds, with no time to brace her hands against the wall, her face is pressed to the plaster, His hips holding her in place. With one hand in her hair, and the other around her throat, His body pressing her tight against the wall, she feels her cunt drip in excitement.

'Tonight my little slut, you will do as I ask, when I ask, how I ask and all without complaint, do you understand me??'

'Yes Sir, I do' she says, as she feels her cunt clench, drip and throb.

'Go and sit down, dinner is ready' He says

She sits as she is told, this food will give her the necessary energy for what comes next, something she has a feeling she may need......

Pull my hair just one more time......

I have been reading things a little differently lately. As in, I get on Fetlife most days, and read threads about BDSM, the whole D/s dynamic and I always have, but lately it seems to be sinking in differently.

A thread this morning about hair pulling and what other subs thought of having hair pulled made me sit and think about the times I have had mine yanked.

It can be as simple as a handful, held tight, pulling at the scalp, just to remind me HE has control, or it can be a fistful while being fucked doggy from behind, getting things a bit rougher, it can be being led by the hair to be placed in a position that pleases Him, is is many different kinds of things, but each and every one of them turn me on.
There is something primal that appeals to me about having His hands in my hair, whether it hurts or not, there is always the reminder of His control.

Collars, Cuffs and Restraints.
Another subject that gets me going...
Sir surprised me with a Collar some weeks ago, it is something I sleep in every night He is not beside me. It is an unusual collar, and not one I had ever seen before. Black leather, with rings that join the leather sections, but it dips in the front, almost like a necklace. It is almost an inch thick, so not something that nilla people would find normal around my neck at all, but something about the difference of it appeals to me.
I love that it sits differently. the weight of it around my neck reminds me of who owns me, but it is not restrictive on my throat. And the more I wear it, the softer it is becoming, like a favourite pair of boots.
Cuffs are something we are still working on. I have skinny wrists, which mean that skinny cuffs often are loose and cut in on my wrists, and there comes a point where the pain in the wrists overtakes the pain I feel elsewhere, and my brain focuses on the wrists and not the sensations elsewhere in my body.

I have friends locally who are kinky, and I would pop over for a coffee and a catch up, only to find her dressed as He wished, this was without a doubt always with wrist and ankle cuffs. She wore them with ease, they were on so often they became part of her routine when at His house. I have no doubts, even without asking that she was never allowed to place them on, or remove them, that it would have been part of a ritual they had that when she arrived, He would place them on, even if no playing was on the cards.

I went out with a friend one night, and borrowed ankle and wrist cuffs to wear... they were heavy around me, but something that I soon got used to.. at the end of that night, a joke was had and chains were locked on to me, leaving me with wrists chained together and the same on the ankles... something that will not surprise those who actually know me, that joke resulted in me asking politely to have them removed and when they were not, I went to bed in another room with them still on. I was not giving that person the satisfaction of me asking twice. the next morning we found they had stuck to my skin during the night and had to be almost peeled off. My raised eyebrow may have told him that if he had done as I asked that this never would have happened and an apology was soon forthcoming.
My point is, Collars and Cuffs have the same reaction on me as the hair pulling does.

Things don't HAVE to hurt, they just have to be not my choice.

Things don't HAVE to be the direct opposite of what I want, they just have to be not my choice.

Things don't HAVE to be done during play, they just have to be at a time HE chooses.

Control doesn't HAVE to be around all the time, but it makes me damn horny when it is......

The other half...

Love for most people is a journey in and of itself. But ownership…it is more than a journey. It is being in that place that you’ve created for me. It is an avocation, a role, and a responsibility to you. It is being your other half, the softer half, the half that is under your hand and at your feet…the half that feels, that delights, that giggles, and that enjoys the moments with you. It is being your half that reflects you, accepts you, and finds joy with you. And it being your half that finds the peace in the moments, the happiness in the serving, and the delight of simply giving to you. It is being your half that exists in the simple delight of existing for you as my Owner, and it is pure, and it is what I was created to be.


I found this awesome writing on a blog, found through a link on Fetlife after following a friends comments.


UniqueRaven has a way with words that I admire, but what struck me most while avidly devouring her blog was the above words.


Ownership of someone is so very hard to explain, as is the feeling of knowing you are owned body and soul.


It becomes less of a want for me to be able to please for the sake of pleasing, and more of a need. It is not a concious need, it is an innate reaction, that is almost uncontrollable.


In the past it was a want, as in - I wanted to please, because it gained me a good reaction.
Now it is a need, something I can't control.  And not necessarily all sexual needs, it is the whole gamut of a relationship. 


 It is being your other half, the softer half, the half that is under your hand and at your feet…the half that feels, that delights, that giggles, and that enjoys the moments with you. It is being your half that reflects you, accepts you, and finds joy with you.


These words are the way I feel about Sir. I am a whole person on my own, but I am also the other half of Him, together we can do anything.


I suggest a read of UnqiueRaven's blog, you can find it HERE and I have also linked it into my blog roll.

Tears in His arms.....

I can be tough
I can be strong
But with you, It's not like that at all

Theres a girl who gives a shit
Behind this wall
You just walk through it

 And I remember all those crazy thing you said
You left them running through my head
You're always there, you're everywhere
But right now I wish you were here

All those crazy things we did
Didn't think about it just went with it
You're always there, you're everywhere
But right now I wish you were here

 Damn, Damn, Damn,
What I'd do to have you
Here, Here, Here
I wish you were here

Damn, Damn, Damn,
What I'd do to have you
Near, Near, Near
I wish you were here.


I love the way you are
It's who I am don't have to try hard
We always say, Say like it is
And the truth is that I really miss

All those crazy thing you said
You left them running through my head
You're always there, you're everywhere
But right now I wish you were here

All those crazy things we did
Didn't think about it just went with it
You're always there, you're everywhere
But right now I wish you were here

 Damn, Damn, Damn,
What I'd do to have you
Here, Here, Here
I wish you were here

Damn, Damn, Damn,
What I'd do to have you
Near, Near, Near
I wish you were here.

 No, I don't wanna let go
I just wanna let you know
That I never wanna let go
Let go, Oh, Oh,

No, I don't wanna let go
I just wanna let you know
That I never wanna let go
Let go, Let go, Let go...

 Damn, Damn, Damn,
What I'd do to have you
Here, Here, Here
I wish you were here

Damn, Damn, Damn,
What I'd do to have you
Near, Near, Near
I wish you were here.

I have a song for every occasion.

It gets a little harder to say Goodbye to Him every time we have to part, each of us counting down the hours til next time we will be together.

Yesterday was particularly hard for me, while we were together yesterday, Sir surprised me with a collar. Not something I was expecting at all, not even something we had discussed.

Wearing that, being in His arms, then having to take it off and say goodbye to Him within hours was hard for me. 

I cried in His arms when He put it on me.

It was totally unexpected.

For the first time in my life, I understand the fascination of wearing a wedding ring.

Being proud to wear something that symbolizes someone else's claim on you.

It is not just something that is expected to be worn, or to wear, and I think many people just wear their wedding rings because it is 'the done thing to do', I know I did in the past. It was just something I did, not something that particularly meant what it should have.

And I guess this is an admission, that I didnt fully understand what having a collar meant until now.

I KNEW in my head, but until now I had never felt it. 

It is not just something to be worn when we play, not just something that is around my neck because it is expected to be.

It is a sign of our commitment to each other, His that He loves and protects me, and mine that I belong to Him, that I love Him, respect Him, trust Him and honour Him.

And I am very proud to wear His collar. 

a Deviation....

There comes a time in everyone's journey where they either reach their destination and begin a new one, or they veer off slightly and detour, deviating from their original destination.

I have veered....even more to the left than I was before.
I am slightly left of centre on the best of days.

I have asked Master to release me from my collar.

I didn't do it while having a hissy fit. I did it while calm, albeit it very upset.

I wrote an email, I figured that's how it started, its kinda fitting that's how it should end also.

I have...over the last few months, questioned my submission, and I don't mean that I was starting to believe that I could no longer be a proper, true, or whatever kind of submissive you want to call it, I just mean that I have questioned the submissive part of me in general.

In the beginning, most of my friends who had an idea about the journey I was about to embark on, questioned that I was submissive, most of them were surprised that I was not entering the BDSM world as a Domme.

I sit back now and wonder what my journey may have been like had I met anyone other than Him.

I have no doubt, I would have lasted a couple of weeks, told them to fuck off when they asked me to do something I didn't want to, and that would have been the end.

I am not truly submissive by nature. I am really quite the opposite.
I often told Master that He gets part of me that no-one else ever did, and I know He understands it, but I don't think He ever really knew just exactly how much it was true.

I am not sitting here, released from my collar and contemplating becoming a Domme, nor am I considering looking for another Master.

I am stepping back from the whole thing.

It is very hard to explain what it is that made me do this, except to say that I found it increasingly difficult to maintain my submission as I was feeling more and more chained to a computer.
Master was always honest with me about what He could and couldn't give me, and for the most part I was happy with what I had, but the little things started to get to me. And I was upsetting myself.

I didn't all of a sudden want Him to propose, or to move in, or to suggest anything of the sort, and we had discussed my issues on a few occasions. I knew these were things that were mine alone to deal with, but there are some things, no matter what you try, you have to admit defeat.

I am defeated in a way, I can no longer be the submissive HE needs me to be.
I am still, and will always be submissive to Him, in that same way I still call the principal from my senior school years by Mr ......, I cannot for the life of me call him by his first name, even though he has asked me to, it just feels wrong and un-natural.

Master will always be MY Master.

We still have contact, with His permission I will still call Him Master, I cannot think of Him any other way.

I just can't be what He needs.

Our journey hasn't ended, its deviated. Its almost as if I have jumped into a car on my own, and we are travelling to the same place, stopping for coffee together along the way every so often.
So the blog won't end here, it just may have lots less posts than it did to begin with.

This is all still very fresh and raw, maybe later He may think differently, or I might, that is something I cannot predict, but for now.... He is someone I truly treasure and do not want to be without, its just the adjustment of what comes next I guess.

And just because it's me, there is music that goes with the post, this one is actually a soundtrack of my week. I have played one CD over and over, every single song having lyrics that called to me, but none specifically fitting the whole thing.

If you have the CD by Adele titled "21" you will know what I mean.

"I set fire to the rain"
"And I threw us into the flames"
"Well it felt like something died"

always and forever HIS kitty.

little bit nervous..

I am a little bit nervous.

Master and I have a session planned for this week.

Its been nearly 6 weeks since we played last.

That night didnt leave me feeling so great, but I learned a valuable lesson...one I wont forget in a hurry.

I have a feeling this will be different this time....more intense than before.

He says I have grown significantly, that He needs to keep in mind I need greater Domination.

That I need a "harder session"

The idea of a harder session doesnt worry me.... I trust Him to physically take me, use me and know when I have neared the edge of my limit. I am almost looking forward to Him testing me, seeing how far I can go.

As always I have sat and imagined what this week might bring, how the session may go, what He may do to me. My mind keeps returning to the session where He introduced me to candle play, left me with marks, the session where He placed the collar around my neck for the first time.
That session was different to all others we have had in a specific way that means a lot, but yet, I cannot work out what was different, what made it different. Was it me? My head space? Or Him? Did He do something different that I missed?

In that session He bit me...several times.

Most people who know me will know that being bitten is one of my favourite kinks...almost to the point of calling it a major fetish, as in, it is just not the same without it...that no matter what else happens, that if I dont get bitten I dont enjoy the whole scene as much.

That session, He bit me hard....to the point "I nearly tasted chicken" He told me....and yet. NO PAIN.
None, Nada, Zip, Zilch.
Other times I have been bitten, some it has hurt, once made me squeal, others not so much, but never has it NOT hurt like that day.
That day I also felt like He didnt spank me as hard as He normally does....or was it me?? Not feeling any pain rather than Him not spanking as hard??
The two single things I have come up with about that session is

a.) HE placed my play collar around my neck himself

and

b.) That was one of the only sessions where I wasnt blindfolded at some point.

I wouldnt have thought either reason would make that much of a difference to my pain levels...but what would I know.

Since I have a fair idea this week will be a little harder than I have had before...I have a little more time to get in the head space...not over think, just relax about it.

But not having seen each other for that long still makes me nervous.

I cant shake the feeling something has changed. Granted, I learnt a lot while He was away, but the feeling is still there...and I am not sure I can put my finger on why I feel like I do.

The inner slut has yet to re-appear, and I cant get the inner bitch to get back in her box.

I guess I will have to wait and see now... I am looking forward to seeing Him, but at the same time..it makes me a little nervous.

I want....

I want....

it to be cold so I can wear my play collar today and hide it under a scarf.

to hear His voice.

the marks to last longer.

I want lots of things today, none of which I will get.

I will be content to have what I DO have.

It is just one of those days.

its HIS fault.....part 2

This pic is actually me.

I got a parcel in the mail, which I am sure you all know.

Master told me it was to be my collar, He knew my preference was to have one that I could wear every day and feel the connection, remind me of my submission to Him.

What I didn't expect today while I waited for Him, laying on the bed, wearing THE outfit, was for Him to walk towards me with another collar....my play collar.

He may never know how hard it was for me not to cry when He buckled that around my neck.

Sounds silly, but feeling that leather collar tight around my neck, it made it all the more real. Maybe that's a thought every sub has when their Master does the same, or maybe it was just me.

I have some marks on me left after today, the bite mark I was hoping would stay, has faded, and I doubt will be still there tomorrow, perhaps any bruises will take a day or two to appear. (fingers crossed)

I do have six lovely red marks on my breasts and tummy after Master and I had our first play with wax together. I will admit, that fucking stings in an awfully nice way. I think I was wriggling a lot, do even recall calling Master a bastard at one point. (possibly shouldn't mention that incase He missed it)

I had to pay up on my bet, which Master knows damn well grossed me out, and damn Him, He got photographic evidence of the payup.

I had a slight victory winks Master bare handed spanked me at one point and it hurt His hand more than it hurt my arse. He asked me if it hurt, I said No, but quickly backpedalled in case He repeated it only harder.

AND we made sparks together.

Yes, I can hear you all calling that a bunch of crapola romantic rubbish, but it's true!!

At one point we both looked up to see the kettle sparking and glowing from the inside!!!

Needless to say, making Him a cup of tea after was a little more complicated since we had blown up the kettle from across the room.

(C'mon, I dare anyone to beat that one!!!)

But at the end of the day....

Its all HIS fault I have a sore arse smirks

Its all HIS fault I have burn marks on the front of me smiles

Its all HIS fault I did something today I havent done in 10 LONG years grins

Its all HIS fault I had trouble driving home sitting on a very well used "Masters cunt" winces

Its all HIS fault I am sitting here with the biggest smile I have had in months. says nothing, just grins

Its all MY fault that I think I am going to pay for this comment.......

Master:  you keep saying that i dont leave marks

kitty: yeah...me and my big mouth

Master: lol

kitty:  I should go look in the mirror at my back, I know there are some on the front, I can feel them burning still

Master: go and look

kitty: yes Master  

(I went and looked in the bathroom mirror)

kitty: I have 6 burn marks that are starting to blister and you dont bite hard enough 

I wonder if I get a little more sassy if He will bite hard enough to leave me a lasting impression, or whether I will just get punished in other ways....hmmm, might be worth the risk.

Before Master left, He replaced my play collar with my vanilla collar. It feels right, it makes me feel like he is here, reminding me to behave, reminding me He gets a part of me no one else does, reminding me....

I AM HIS

tits out for _sub_girl......

Anyone who has followed my blog for a little while will know about my friendship with the wonderful _sub_girl.

I think from memory, I came across a post of hers on Fetlife (now there is a surprise...NOT), which then led me to her profile and a link to her blog.

One of her posts resonated with me, again, something she said that I just couldnt put into words.

I dashed off a quick message and asked permission to use it in my blog......and now here we are.

We dont talk every day, nor even every week, it can be hard when we are on opposite sides of the world, but we keep in touch through the blogs, posting messages here and there.

Sooo, any way, back to the subject at hand, this morning she posted a comment on my blog, about my collar (still smiling and shaking over that) then we jumped on YIM.

Anyone who has read any of sg's blog will know she is a big fan of anal sex....God love her. So I knew she would be the right person for me to go to with a few questions I have had rolling in the head of mine.

Have I tried anal?? Yes
Did I like it?? It was ok
Did it hurt?? Not with Master, he was gentle with me knowing it was as good as my first time.
Do I want to like it?? Yeah, I think I might, but I have a long way to go first.

This is where more learning comes in.... I have read every blog, sticky, website and anything else I can get my hands on, so I know how best for me to prepare myself.

Master has helped, and I know He will be patient and understanding of both my fears and my medical condition that MAY limit anal for us. (May because we wont really know until we try more than once)

Me?? I ask my friends....who better to trust than someone you KNOW knows what they are talking about, and someone you trust to not wrap it up in cotton wool, someone who just can tell it like it is.

So, back to it, onto YIM we go, and I mentioned making a coffee. OMG sg says, I have wine!!
We have been discussing the wine/coffee date between us for months now, and its just never happpened.

Next thing we are on skype...VIDEO call none the less, and here is me, still in pj's, morning coffee, and I am not entirely sure I had even brushed my hair!!

It was sooooooo nice to be able to chat face to face so to speak, I now know what the bit above the shoulders looks like to go with the hot body she has. (She is hot from top to bottom )

We did the whole, here's what I do to get ready, and if this happens, or this happens, blah blah blah.

Then I showed her my collar, we oohed and ahhed together, and got onto other kinky subjects, was soooo nice to be able to talk about it all, rather than type, I am wishing Sarah, sg and I all lived a helluva lot closer to each other than we do, although I think there is not a town/city or even a country in the world that would be ready for the three of us together.

I mentioned to her that I had had my nipples pierced a little while ago for Master, next thing, I have my tits out on skype!

  God love friends who you can meet for the first time 

that you are comfy enough flashing your tits at!

Anyway, she answered all the questions I had about how to get ready, and now I have some practising to do over the weekend, as requested by My Master.

There is one hint for me as to what is gonna happen this week...

It is going to be a STELLAR week this week, play with Master, get my collar out of the box with the ribbon, show Him this outfit I have had planned for a while, the list goes ON and ON.........

 I hope every one reading this also has a great week...

much love, 

kitty

a box tied with ribbon...

I got a parcel in the mail today.

He had asked if I was headed home from work to have lunch.

I asked "should I?"

Master said "Only if the postman has been"

I have often said if I were a cat I would be long dead, dead of curiosity disease.

I wasnt intending on having lunch at home, in fact I was eating my lunch when He asked.

I did then say goodbye and race home to see if the postman HAD been.

He had.

I stood at the letterbox for a couple of minutes, I must have looked like a bloody idiot running a fingertip over the writing on the front of the bag.

I was so excited I had to pee, but I didn't want to put the parcel down, so I took it with me to the bathroom.

(you lot can quit laughing about now...)

My hands were shaking so bad I had to find the scissors to get the bag open.

Inside was an envelope and a box tied with ribbon.

I love cards, I would rather have a card than a present without thought.

The person writing on the card has to pick it out, and then stop and think about what to write, that always means something to me. I like cards to say the right thing when I buy them for others, it has to be JUST right.

I opened this card, and it said....

To MY sweet kitty

(insert message)

M

If I am completely honest, just reading that bought a tear to the eye, in a good way of course.

I looked at the box tied with ribbon for a minute before I could stop shaking long enough to open it.

Inside was a necklace.

But, I KNEW it wasn't just a necklace, this was to be my collar.

I had told Master once that I liked the idea of a symbolic collar for the simple reason that I was His ALL the time, I didn't want something I couldn't wear ALL the time.

By now I had to get a tissue, the tears were out of the eyes, not just in the corners.

I asked Master whether I was allowed to put it on, or was I to wait for Him to do it?

All the while HOPING He would say I had to wait, I didn't think it would feel right putting it on the very first time by myself. It's HIS collar after all.

So, here I sit, with a beautiful card, and a box tied with ribbon, a new name, and some fresh beginnings with MY Master.