Untitled writing...

She walks through the door, pulling her case behind her, handbag slung over one shoulder and a weary look on her face.
She sees Him standing in the kitchen, the aroma of dinner cooking makes her stomach rumble in hunger, He walks towards her, beer in hand, a smile on His face. Dropping the handbag on the floor, she wraps her arms around Him, holding tight, relishing in the feel of His body against hers, her head rests on His chest, it is the feeling of being home.
 No amount of contact mid week makes up for the feeling of being in His arms, drawing on His strength, taking a deep breath, inhaling the essence that is Him.
He leads her to the kitchen, placing His beer on the counter, she is tired, but excited to be there, eager to have time with Him.

He wraps her in His arms again, kissing her, holding her tight, she relaxes into Him. It feels like home when He is close. A hand wraps around her ponytail, twisting it gently as He kisses her, playfully tugging it softly.
Without warning, her head is pulled back sharply, the gentle hand has disappeared. He is forceful, there are no illusions that if she resists, that the hand will pull harder, sharper, forcing her head back, exposing her neck, holding her firmly in place. His other hand grabs her under the chin, holding her still as His lips take what they want, His tongue pillaging in her mouth, teeth biting her lips. His mouth moves to her ear, whispering softly
'Take your things to the bedroom my little fucktoy, you know where they belong, you have 3 minutes to be back here minus your shoes and with your collar in your hand'

Her weariness has disappeared, not knowing what is coming next, knowing that if He were to put His hand inside her panties, she would be dripping wet already, she rushes to do as she is asked.
Slightly less than 3 minutes later, she re-appears as ordered, collar in hand, bare feet on the cool tiles.
He looks at the floor at His feet, she kneels instantly, hands together in front of her, offering Him the collar she holds. He ignores the collar, takes hold of her hair, again pulling her head back, forcing her to look up at Him.

She can smell the control, see it written on His face, feel it in the strength of His hands in her hair. He says nothing, just looks at her face, reading the tiredness, the excitement and the fear of not knowing what is coming next, He takes hold of the collar, all the while looking at her face, still saying nothing.

The hand disappears from her hair, her head dropping forward. He places the collar around her neck, buckling it tight. When He is sure it is fastened to His liking, a fistful of her hair makes her aware she is expected to stand. In one smooth movement, she stands and is spun around to face the nearest wall in seconds, with no time to brace her hands against the wall, her face is pressed to the plaster, His hips holding her in place. With one hand in her hair, and the other around her throat, His body pressing her tight against the wall, she feels her cunt drip in excitement.

'Tonight my little slut, you will do as I ask, when I ask, how I ask and all without complaint, do you understand me??'

'Yes Sir, I do' she says, as she feels her cunt clench, drip and throb.

'Go and sit down, dinner is ready' He says

She sits as she is told, this food will give her the necessary energy for what comes next, something she has a feeling she may need......

Go on then.... Make me..

The idea of consensual non-consent has always appealed to me.

I never want to be in the position of being sexually abused in any way, or afraid of being attacked, but the thought of saying No, and having someone you trust take it from you anyway, appeals to me.

I have always wondered about how exactly consensual non-consent would work.
I am a submissive.
I not only love and trust my Sir, but I don't say no, and not because I am not allowed, but because I don't choose to. How can I say no to something I want so much??
So am I supposed to say no even though I don't want to, rendering any non consent a whole load of bullshit??
Put up a weak resistance?? Fight back??? How exactly does this work??

If at this point you are thinking in your head that consensual non consent works better with a stranger, someone I don't know, someone I can really say no to...then I aint trying it. Not going there.

I am currently having a mini holiday with Sir, a full week together, sometimes with kids, sometimes not, but yesterday I had to go to work for the day.
6am alarm, 7am leave. Sir made me coffee before I left, packed another in a travel mug for me to take, He then spent the day doing everything except anything for Himself. Looking after kids, cooking, cleaning, washing, all while I was at work.
I arrived home 12 hours after I had left, tired, and with a headache.
At some point over dinner, a shower, then a nap on the couch, I decided that while I would never be able to effectively say NO, that after such a day, me saying no, may just get a reaction that I wouldn't normally on any other given day.

I honestly don't believe consensual non consent can work for me when He knows I am only playing, to me, it has to be believable. So.... last night I said No, amongst other things.
Words like 'maybe', 'if you think you can' and the whole time, said in that tone of voice that reeks of sarcasm and intent to piss Him off.
I didn't want to say No to Sir.
I wanted to be in His arms in bed.
I wanted to play.
I wanted to make love.
But I also knew that I am very rarely in a  mood like that, and that if I took advantage of the mood, that Sir would push harder than normal, hence we would both get to experience something different.

Sure, for those of you sitting there thinking I was topping from the bottom, you can think that, but consider the options....

I could have sat here on the couch, explained to Sir what I would like to try, then with permission, use a half hearted No, to which He would have known meant Yes because of our prior discussion, and what would have resulted would have been a wasted effort for both of us.

OR

I could and did, become a smart arse, challenging Him to take what He wanted, while I used as much resistance as I could manage, without really fighting back (I cannot possibly hurt Him) which resulted in me in tears over the pain in my arse, and a hair style Medusa would have been jealous of. Something about having half the hair yanked out of my head, being spanked until I literally couldn't take any more, and then having Sir take what He wanted turned me on.

Having said that, I don't think I am in a hurry to do it again.
And not because my butt is still sore, but because as much as I am a smart arse, being deliberately smart as compared to being smart and teasing in a playful manner, are two totally different things.
One I enjoy, the other not so much.

It is just not fun saying No to someone you want so much, but I am glad I did it, if only for one reason....

It proved to me how much I trust Him and how much that trust is well placed.

Licking my lips.....

As much as I love to feel His hands in my hair, or His teeth sinking into some part of my body, the thing I love the most is Cock worship, oral sex, blow job, sucking the sausage, whichever you prefer to call it.

There is something about feeling His hand knotted into the back of my hair, pushing my mouth onto His cock, ramming His hips upwards, forcing me to take as much as He can shove in there, and holding me still while He face fucks me.
Sometimes He holds my head just back far enough that I can't quite reach His cock with my tongue, He strokes it right there in front of my face, letting me watch, but knowing that what I really want is to get His cock in my mouth, to run my tongue all over it, sucking on it, playing with it, treating it as if it was my own personal lollipop to play with. Knowing He is holding me just out of reach has multiple, contradictory effects on my body, both out of my control.... it frustrates the shit out of me at the same time it turns me on to the point where I literally drip. I love to watch men masturbate, but not as much as I love His cock in my mouth.
To watch Sir stroking Himself turns me on beyond belief at the same time my mouth waters to get that cock down my throat as far as I can get it.

There is something very self satisfying about saying 'Thank you Sir' after He cums in my mouth.
And I lay there, the taste of Him in my mouth and I smile, cherishing the ache in my jaw, knowing I have pleased Him.