I want what you are....

There is an old saying about finding what you are looking for when you stop looking.

I believe it.

Not sure I did before, but I do now.

When He and I split, released, whatever the technical term for it is....when we did that, we stayed in contact, but I went looking. Call it replacing Him, whatever you like..I wasn't trying to replace Him, but I did miss the control, and the other things.

I quickly found out that the majority of the guys I spoke to were idiots and fucktards, and seemingly I was submissive to Him only.

I changed my Fetlife profile from that of a submissive, back to a kinkster.
I defined myself on my profile as best I could, being as honest as I could.

I had a couple of messages, but they amounted to nothing.

After New Years Eve, I decided that I would leave everything on the backburner until after my operation, until I was healthy again.
I was having a semi undefinable, unexplainable relationship with a Dom interstate.
He needed kink but didnt need the physical, and I needed the control and my health wouldnt allow the physical....worked for us as silly as it might seem.

In the meantime, I was still heading to events where I can, meeting new people, having a great time making new friends and loving the Aussie summer with my kids on holidays.

At one of these events, I met a guy.

A Dom.

He was there with his play partner.

I knew her, she introduced us.

I also knew she played with others besides him, that their relationship wasnt committed, but there was love, trust and caring between them.

In all honesty, I tried to avoid him that night as much as possible.
I had this complete and utter attraction to him...something I dont think I have felt in a LONG time.

I blogged before how I had a complete and utter TRUST for my ex Master when we met, but this guy was different.

I wanted to drag him out of that event, out to anywhere I could and get my hands on each and every part of his body and never let go.
I was never going to poach him from my friend, I didnt even flirt, although it was DAMN hard not to when all I wanted to do was fuck him sideways and upside down.

Little did I know that she had told him to check me out, that she said to him I was nice.... I think she may have been playing matchmaker.

It worked.

He and I have chatted about everything under the sun since  the week following that event, I was honest in that I was not well and needed surgery, his response was....

"I don't want what you can offer, I want what you are"

My heart skipped a beat and it hasn't been the same since.

I will keep you posted on what comes next....but I am pretty sure I know where we are headed, and seemingly it can't happen fast enough for either of us.