is it??? or isnt it???

in all my reading....the one thing that caught my eye, was people talking about sub-drop.

a state of mind that sometimes came after sub-space.

now I am still not entirely sure on the whole sub-space thing...is it a general whole "out of body" feeling, or something else entirely?

either way, I get the feeling that today I am feeling a few sub-drop after effects after my play yesterday with Master.

my brain doesn't seem to want to concentrate on anything for more than 3 seconds, my attention span is ZERO, I could quite happily go have a nap, but I don't want to as I know I wont sleep tonight, I have eaten the whole supply of M & M's that I had, and God Help the next person who says something to annoy me...they will get told where to go very swiftly.

maybe what I need is to go put a movie on and zone out for a while....I really don't know what it is that might make me feel better.

it's not that I feel bad...I don't, but I just feel "off"

maybe it's that my body is still feeling the effects from yesterday...I have marks, which I half expected, but didn't know how I would feel about having, I have aching muscles, and the bits of me that hadn't been touched for a long time....are DAMN sore.

i am guessing all these things add up to sub-drop, and I am WELL AWARE that these are not life threatening feelings, and apart from the sore bits and marks, may all be gone tomorrow, but they are here today.

maybe I need to go find a movie, cuddle on the chair with a quilt and pillow, trouble is, the movie I would pick would more than likely be a sad one, then I would need tissues...and I am not sure I could stop crying  once I started.

then again...maybe that's what I need.... a decent cry session to get it out...I just don't know what it is I feel like.

I am thinking this is my proof that for every action...there is a reaction...and being new at this, I guess only time will help me work out what it is that's going to make me feel better.