I also had "Master's Cunt" written across the pubic bone above a freshly waxed pussy.
I was horny all day.
I have had horny moments over the last 7 weeks, but I havent spent a WHOLE day horny like that since before Master went away.
It got me thinking about control....and I am not entirely sure I can effectively explain the thoughts going on in my head, but I will give it my best shot.
Control...as per a dictionary is listed as...
1. To exercise authoritative or dominating influence over; direct.
2. To adjust to a requirement; regulate:
3. To hold in restraint; check:
4. To reduce or prevent the spread of:
Well, there is no denying Master does the first, anyone else who told me to wear a butt plug would get told to fuck off quick smart.
The second is my job I guess, although I had never actually though about it like that before.
The third is part of my submission, that I am held, and hold myself in restraint e.g Holding my sassy mouth shut.
I am not sure the fourth holds much meaning in what I have had in my head lately, but I am sure it must fit in there somewhere. All it brings to mind is wearing a face mask to prevent the spread of some exotic yet deadly cough or some such thing.
Master exercising His Dominance over me in small ways, is seemingly (from MY point of view only) more appealing and makes it easier for me to FEEL owned.
When I have writing over my body, while at work, serving customers who have no idea that this "normal" looking middle aged woman turns into a dirty slut, who has "nasty" words written all over her body, who has wet panties from being turned on all day knowing she is pleasing someone miles away just by doing as asked without complaint, it makes my breath come faster, it makes me wetter, and it makes me smile.
It is the same when I get an unexpected order in the middle of a day to do something "naughty" and they can be as simple as taking a pic with my phone while at work, hiding in the bathroom and knowing I have to rub my clit for X time and not cum, to wear a butt plug out in public....the all invoke the same reactions....an adrenaline hit...a rush.....again, its like the addict in me getting a hit.
Even something as simple as being told to not wear panties on a particular day, its all the same. It is a hit, a rush.
When I dont get any sort of control...I get itchy...like I am craving something and not sure what will ease it.
There is nothing I can do to help myself ease the craving, there is no magic word/food/drink/task/mantra or anything else. Even speaking to other Doms doesnt ease it, depending on who they are, they can do one of two things...they can either distract me long enough that I forget I am craving it (good to point out here, that forgetting will only last the length of the conversation, its not a FORGET forget) OR they are idiot Doms who I tell to get lost and then the cravings intensify, all because I remember how wonderful He is and that it is HIM that owns me, and therefore controls me.
I am under no illusions that each of my tasks are there for a specific purpose, whether it be teaching me to look at things from a different point of view, to make me sit and think about my reaction to something, and how it could have been different, to get me horny, or more importantly to please Master in ways I am still yet to understand.
Of all the things I think about, WHY it pleases Master is often the LAST thing I think about, the why is not as important to me as the HAVE, as in I HAVE pleased Him.
I can look back now...with having had 2 weeks contact with Master since his return, that the control was one of the things I missed the most....and that a lot of my issues over His emails, were not because they werent long and lengthy, full of news about far away places I couldnt see, it was because in the back of my mind, each time I saw there was an email there,
I had a hope that it would contain something that would control me.
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