the QUEEN of compromise..

Ok.

I can do this.

As much as I have been disappointed lately, I disappointed Master also.

Neither of us have had a lot of time, which has made for rushed conversations about nothing....and those are the kind I hate.

I am a straight down the line kind of girl...give it to me blunt, let me get used to it, and then I can process it.

Unfortunately, that is also the way I deal with other people in my life, give it to them blunt, give them time to process it, then we chat again.
Not always a good way to be...but it is me, and the only way I know, and quite frankly...too bad if you don't.

Master and I had a chat this morning, I know when I logged on, I never expected quite the chat we did have, but when it was all said and done, I am soooo glad we did.

Neither of us are going to have time to be the way we are used to being together for a little while, and I know it has been suggested that I find a Master who has more time, can be available more.

FUCK THAT

I like the one I have...He is nearly broken in. *ducks*


On many occasions I have struggled to tell Him I am pissed off with Him, or disappointed over something.
I think today we managed between us to come up with a way I can do this.

I was allowed to remove my collar TEMPORARILY and spill my guts so to speak.
As in...speak freely without thoughts of how do I say this or that and still sound submissive.
Well bugger me...did that free me up.
Out it spilled....

When I had finished my little rant..I put my collar back on figuratively and I felt better.
I had told Him why I was disappointed, and pissed off...bawled like a baby the whole time, but I did it, and after I felt better.


I wanted to try and make His life as easy as I can for the next few weeks, but I also knew unless I got those things off my chest I would explode and cause more trouble in the long run.
I suggested that until things calm down more that we find a compromise of sorts.
I am the QUEEN of compromise....there is middle ground for almost every situation. It just takes two to be honest about their needs and find something in the middle.
I NEED His contact in some form or another...and I NEED it to be Dominating and/or Instructional.
HE NEEDS me to be uncomplicated, not disappointed and NOT demanding.

I suggested rather than sit and chit chat all day, have me interrupting Him, and me getting nothing done while I wait for his meeting/phone call/client/or whatever else to finish, that we try a daily email to each other...JUST until things settle down and then review it again.

He sends an email of an evening...outlining SOMETHING I have to do over night. Can be major or minor, as long as it is making me concentrate on HIM, Me and My submission to Him...a task if you will.
As involved or as simple as He likes...this is not my choice.. I need it to be HIS CHOICE.
oh yeah...and He promised me He will manage more than 3 lines.

Then....I have to have an email on His desk before He begins work...something to make Him smile before the hectic day takes over. His morning dose of vitamin kitty.

Then...we have each had time thinking of the other...and please dont get me wrong here, but that is one of the things I have found I have needed the most in this LDR. The need to know that for a small portion of His day...somewhere along the line, that I have His attention...undivided attention.

As much as I grimace when I hear "Rome wasn't built in a day" or "Look to the positive"
I am sure Master does the same when I say "I would rather have 30 minutes of attention, than 2 minutes here and there while you are between calls" or " I can do anything, so long as I know you still want me"

This way..I know at some point He has sat and thought of me, of something I can do to please Him, have that mental connection, AND He knows I am HIS submissive, who has that time doing as He pleases, in ways that He chooses.

ok...so not an ideal way to do things, but its temporary...until things calm down for both of us.

So I guess...maybe for the next little while...my blogs might be about my tasks, how I felt and why.

But whatever you do...please know this....

I SMILED THE WHOLE TIME I WROTE THIS

oh yeah....AND....

the inner slut poked her head up today...something about wearing a butt plug while having lunch with my mother, and knowing that under my jeans was the writing I had been instructed to place there this morning, just made her pop up and smile at me.....maybe she will come back after all.