little bit nervous..

I am a little bit nervous.

Master and I have a session planned for this week.

Its been nearly 6 weeks since we played last.

That night didnt leave me feeling so great, but I learned a valuable lesson...one I wont forget in a hurry.

I have a feeling this will be different this time....more intense than before.

He says I have grown significantly, that He needs to keep in mind I need greater Domination.

That I need a "harder session"

The idea of a harder session doesnt worry me.... I trust Him to physically take me, use me and know when I have neared the edge of my limit. I am almost looking forward to Him testing me, seeing how far I can go.

As always I have sat and imagined what this week might bring, how the session may go, what He may do to me. My mind keeps returning to the session where He introduced me to candle play, left me with marks, the session where He placed the collar around my neck for the first time.
That session was different to all others we have had in a specific way that means a lot, but yet, I cannot work out what was different, what made it different. Was it me? My head space? Or Him? Did He do something different that I missed?

In that session He bit me...several times.

Most people who know me will know that being bitten is one of my favourite kinks...almost to the point of calling it a major fetish, as in, it is just not the same without it...that no matter what else happens, that if I dont get bitten I dont enjoy the whole scene as much.

That session, He bit me hard....to the point "I nearly tasted chicken" He told me....and yet. NO PAIN.
None, Nada, Zip, Zilch.
Other times I have been bitten, some it has hurt, once made me squeal, others not so much, but never has it NOT hurt like that day.
That day I also felt like He didnt spank me as hard as He normally does....or was it me?? Not feeling any pain rather than Him not spanking as hard??
The two single things I have come up with about that session is

a.) HE placed my play collar around my neck himself

and

b.) That was one of the only sessions where I wasnt blindfolded at some point.

I wouldnt have thought either reason would make that much of a difference to my pain levels...but what would I know.

Since I have a fair idea this week will be a little harder than I have had before...I have a little more time to get in the head space...not over think, just relax about it.

But not having seen each other for that long still makes me nervous.

I cant shake the feeling something has changed. Granted, I learnt a lot while He was away, but the feeling is still there...and I am not sure I can put my finger on why I feel like I do.

The inner slut has yet to re-appear, and I cant get the inner bitch to get back in her box.

I guess I will have to wait and see now... I am looking forward to seeing Him, but at the same time..it makes me a little nervous.