embraced by a cloud.....

I lay on a cloud, in a sky filled with sunshine, basking in the feel of the softness that surrounds me.
I squirm, getting more settled into the pillow of the cloud, closing my eyes, feeling the cloud surround me, encompass me, holding me safe from falling to the earth.
The cloud whispers to me, moving me across the sky, showing me places I have never seen before, all the while the daylight surrounds us, shining brightly, allowing me to see ahead and behind.

Night falls, and I lay in peace on my cloud as the darkness begins to fall around me, I close my eyes and rejoice in the feel of the cloud beneath me, still holding me in, keeping me safe.

I drift off, relaxing into a slumber of contentment, always knowing my cloud will be there with me, supporting me, holding me safe.

I wake, startled, and not knowing what it was that shook me, I feel around me in the darkness, unable to see, not able to see where I am.

I can no longer feel the cloud beneath me, but yet, I am still there, high in the sky in the dark of night.
I KNOW it is there beneath me, but I can no longer feel it, or hear it whisper to me, there is no guiding comfort, only aloneness in the dead of the night.

I lay back...eyes wide open, stiff and rigid body, as if any movement will make me fall to the ground, and in my head I hear a voice.

It says,

Just lay there, the light will come again, the darkness does not last forever, you are not a child afraid of the dark, be patient.

Everything inside me screams out "I AM afraid of the dark, DONT tell me what to feel"

Yet the words never come to fruition, they lay deep inside me, trapped for the fear that any second now I will be falling.

My body as stiff as a board, I lay here, my head and heart having a fight over who is right, and who is wrong.

The head says.."You are still here, on the cloud, you are NOT falling and if you are patient, the sun will be up soon enough"

The heart says "How do you know you are still here? You can't feel the cloud, or hear it whisper to you like it does in the daylight"

A silent tear escapes from my eye, rolling a path gently down the side of my face.

I squeeze my eyes shut tightly, hoping the tears wont dissolve what holds me here, imagining in my head, that I hear music, and a soft light.

I lay there in silence, still stiff, but with no more tears escaping.
I force my body to relax, imagining the tension escaping out of me, still seeing the soft light in my head.

I do know the sun will be up soon.
I do now realise, the panic is more to do with feeling blinded by the dark, rather than being afraid of the dark itself. Not being able to see the cloud, or feel the cloud, hear it whisper words of comfort and guidance is what scares me.
I need to find myself a nightlight, make sure I have enough whispers saved to keep me going through the hours of darkness, but I still wait for the sun to return.
With the return of the sun, comes the return of my sanity, the darkness leaves me too much time to think.