rambling....

I have struggled to think of something to write for a couple of days now, and I know I can damn well sit back and not post, but I just don't have it in me to leave it too long.

I guess I still don't have a topic, but I have a few rambling thoughts rolling around inside this bizarre head of mine.

I have wondered today if the reason I have nothing to write about is that all is well with me, and with US.

In fact, in some ways, although this week has been hectic for both of us, it would be right up there as one of my favourite weeks so far.

My brain hasn't farted and spat out anything horrid for me to make a big deal about, and I know we haven't SEEN each other, or even spoken this week, we have chatted online and through emails when schedules have permitted. (Dont get me started on LDR again) but its been a good week.

I have had some interesting tasks, being asked to wear only a see thru shirt, and nothing more for the day while home alone, and another day having to masterbate on the hour every hour, and then send a pic of the results.....it has made for a lot of learning in its own way.

Master gave me a BDSM checklist to fill in earlier in the week, and I have to admit, the results shocked me a little, and I have since been told, its time to ramp things up a little. I don't know whether to be excited or nervous!!!

I am excited because I love for Him to be able to introduce me to new things, and nervous that I won't live up to expectations at the same time.

BUT

I know that Master has patience, God Knows He has had to use it with me over the last 5 months, so if I dont succeed the first go, its just as well my motto is try it a second time to make sure the first was not a fluke.

I am looking forward to getting up close and personal with a flogger or some other instrument of torture for the first time, being tied up, which has happened to me before, but I am under NO illusions that this will not compare to that in so many ways it is just not funny. I am REALLY looking forward to some marking, although I am well aware that marking usually comes after pain of some sort. I am ever hopeful of becoming a pain slut, I know so far its been beyond all expectations.

This afternoon we tried without success to mesh our schedules to get in a play date before the end of the month, and so far, nothing has worked...I am debating chucking a sickie at work, but still.....that has to be worked out with His schedule, so no spur of the moment stuff this month.

Since we discussed it a couple of hours ago, I have thought about it some more, and I think its the smell and the sound that I am missing as much as the rest of it.

I get the Dominance online, Yes I know in person is different, but there is never a time when He doesnt own me, or that He is not far from my mind in all I do.

So maybe a lunch or a quick coffee might be the best we get, but you know what.....sometimes it the little things that are just as important as the big things.

The look on His face as He looks me up and down, the smell of Him as He sits opposite me, and the tone of His voice as He grills me, making sure I am where I have to be and need to be, those are the things that might help calm the fever til the next play.