she has a blog.
I love to read it.......she is further along in her BDSM journey than I am.
often I find things in her blog and my first thoughts are that she has read my mind.......some of the things she says are EXACTLY what I am thinking and dont know how to say.
if you read her blog at all (link over there>>>>>>>>>>>) you will see I set her a challenge...I dont know why I did....I dont like writing tasks...why I would inflict them on someone else I do NOT know.
we are in 2 different places right now...she has a hubby ( I got rid of mine) I have a Master, she doesnt.
I have been where she is, marriage wise.
she has been where I am with the D/s dynamic
I can see things in her future she will have to deal with, as I am sure she sees the same in mine
I gave her the challenge in the hope she would line all 3 lists up side by side....sometimes seeing things written down in black and white can make you admit the truth quicker than going around and around in your head.
having said that...I didnt do it in the hope she would see it and make a decision that will irrevocably change her life.....just see there, written down, and give some thought to what will need to happen.....one way or the other.
she has needs, wants and desires, and I dont care what anyone says...NO ONE should have to live their life unhappy because these things arent being fulfilled....and YES, I am fully aware you cant always have what you want...but IMO it is EVERYONES right to be happy....or at least TRY and be happy....life is too short to live it unhappy.
anyone who lives in an unhappy marriage for "the sake of the kids" has fucking rocks for brains... I have been one of those kids....let me tell you, it sucks just as bad having unhappy parents together as it does to have divorced parents. At least when they are divorced, they can move on and be happy...
Yes its hard, No, its NOT easy, I understand ALL that...but sometimes its worth it.
and I CAN say this, I have been on both sides of this fence
I WAS the kid...now am the single mother.
I love my kids with all my heart, Yes they drive me up the wall, thats their job, I love that they are curious, and busy, it means they are learning....would I love for them to do as they are told occasionally??...of course, but the fact that they question things, means they are strong, determined, and will be self sufficient ( I hope)
In her challenge, I hope sub_girl can see that she has every right to be happy, and have her wants and needs fulfilled, and maybe seeing who fills what need written in black and white will help....I can only hope it does.
((hugs)) for being such a great friend. Your challenge was incredibly helpful. It's given me a lot to think about. In fact, I shared it with my husband last night. Once we stopped fighting, he agreed that perhaps he's been lax in the talking department and he promised to work on that.
ReplyDeleteWe'll see where the next few weeks takes us.
You know I'll keep you posted.
sg