can someone tell me why I am in bed at 11.30 pm on a Saturday night alone, no kids in the house, NOT having done my tasks for the weekend ( I have done part of one)...and feeling SHIT??
why is there such an emotional roller coaster attached to this crap??
and why the fuck am I doing it??
I have said my mantra 100 fucking times today...hasnt worked
I have looked at my pierced nipples in the mirror...knowing I had them done for Him....that didnt work either
I have reread all of our conversations...sent and received emails...they didnt help either
He will come online Monday morning and I will have forgotten tonight...and the crap way I am feeling right now...its like a fucking drug....knowing He is there will fix it
I know He will hate this post...but this is not just for us...its for others who travel this journey also....and its a warning....sometimes it makes you feel FUCKED UP
and no Master....the punching bag didnt help
Ugh... I've been there myself and I know that feeling. That brutal feeling where you start to doubt, start asking yourself questions about why you're doing what you're doing.
ReplyDeleteYou already know where those questions landed me. And I'm still asking them.
Perhaps you could plan ahead for your weekends alone and make plans to spend time with friends? Anything is better than being alone at home.
I have no answers, but I can offer you a ((hug)).
sg