Breathe.....

MF and I have spoken most days since Master has been gone, but neither of us has had any real time to give for some "time" wink wink

I am also hesitant to sometimes tell him how down I am feeling, because he has enough things going on in his life without me adding to them.

I KNOW I will now get yelled at for NOT telling him, but its not MF I should be talking to about these things....its Master, and I cant do that at the moment, so I have been keeping them inside.

If you read my last post, you now know what happens when I keep all the shit bottled up...eventually the damn bottle explodes and out comes the crap.

I got home this morning and found MF typing me a message as I sat at  the computer.

"dont skirt the rougher areas of town looking for your drug of choice *hugs*,  I need to give you my schedule so we can put aside some time to talk.  They have me working different hours now ( I think) its all sorts of screwed up.  But I have the patience if you do"

MF then proceeded to give me the link to the song below and tell me to BREATHE.

Mind you...I also got told to "maintain a positive outlook"

" I wont have my sexy plaything in a foul state of mind"

Sounds a little commanding doesnt he?? But I know its just to snap me out of the mood I am in. The best thing about "playing" with MF is I get to explore a side of me I didnt know existed.

And since he is telling me RIGHT NOW, all the things he wishes he could do to me....I have kinda lost the train of thought I had going.

I know one thing....everytime I struggle now, I will listen to that song, and BREATHE.

and of course....SMILE as I know Master would tell me.

What ever would I do without these two wonderful men in my life???

I hope I dont have to find out any time soon.

Breathe - Anna Nalick

2 AM and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake,

"Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?,

I don't love him. Winter just wasn't my season"

Yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes

Like they have any right at all to criticize,

Hypocrites. You're all here for the very same reason

'Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable

And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table

No one can find the rewind button, girl.

So cradle your head in your hands

And breathe... just breathe,

Oh breathe, just breathe

May he turned 21 on the base at Fort Bliss

"Just a day" he said down to the flask in his fist,

"Ain't been sober, since maybe October of last year."

Here in town you can tell he's been down for a while,

But, my God, it's so beautiful when the boy smiles,

Wanna hold him. Maybe I'll just sing about it.

Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,

And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table.

No one can find the rewind button, boys,

So cradle your head in your hands,

And breathe... just breathe,

Oh breathe, just breathe

There's a light at each end of this tunnel,

You shout 'cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out

And these mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again

If you'd only try turning around.

2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song

If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me,

Threatening the life it belongs to

And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd

Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud

And I know that you'll use them, however you want to

But you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,

And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table

No one can find the rewind button now

Sing it if you understand.

and breathe, just breathe

woah breathe, just breathe,

Oh breathe, just breathe,

Oh breathe, just breathe.