Give me one good reason why I shouldnt go down the pub, get blind drunk and fuck the living daylights out of the first guy who takes my fancy.
Give me one good reason why I shouldnt get online and go find another Dom who I can see a little more often.
Give me one good reason why I am in sitting here crying over getting a stupid goddamn email.
Give me one good reason why I put all this effort into a D/s relationship in the first place.
Give me one good reason why I should even want the inner slut to come back
Give me one good reason why I cant tell Him what I need and have Him listen
Give me one good reason why I feel like I am the only one putting in any effort.
I see now why subs do things knowing full well they will displease their Master and get punished.
I could be the child who deliberately does what she is asked not to, just to get a little attention from her parent.
It is taking EVERYTHING I have in me not to do the one thing He asked me not to.
I am feeling spiteful and bitchy.
I want to feel like I am worth something...worth a little effort...worth a little time...worth a little inconvenience.
Give me one good reason why I do this.........
I am sorry things aren't going well.
ReplyDeleteHugs to you while you work through it.
Hugs, hugs, hugs
I have several reasons, although only you can determine why you do this.
ReplyDelete1) You do this because you want to give up control, learn to obedience and explore kink.
2) You won't find another Dom because there's a part of you that hopes things will change, no matter how much you insist you are fine with the way they are.
3) You do this because you are afraid of being alone; afraid that if you give Him up, no one else will want you.
4) You do this because the emotional masochist in you screams for it.
5) You do this because it's part of you. It is inside of you and part of what you are.
6) You do this because there's a part of you that hopes He will change. Even though you know that he won't.
I know my words are harsh and direct, but you need to hear them. I am here if you need.
I love you!
xo
Jen