watching from the outside....

I feel like a child watching all their friends play on the merry go round.

I was on the Merry go round

It spun so fast, I begged to get off.

I have sat and watched it go around and around without me.

I can see now it goes fast for a little while, then it slows, steadies for a time, then speeds back up again.

I can see one person on that Merry go Round.

He is on a horse big enough for 2, but sits alone.

I want to be there, in front of Him, with His arms around me, his hand on my throat, holding on to me tight.

Protecting me, whispering words of sanity in my ear when I panic over the speed.

I want to scream out to get His attention, but I must sit quietly and wait.

I dont sit quietly very well...

If He sits here beside me on the seat, I do not know what to say, and yet, on that Merry Go Round, its different.