Monday, April 4, 2011

untitled 2...

Everyone has something they would say was their wildest dream.

And I am not talking world peace, but something so completely selfish, something for just them, no one else.

For some it might be enough money to buy a home, a world trip, being able to have a child if you were told you were unable, meet the man/woman of your dreams, to get married, the list is endless.

2 weeks ago, my most selfish desire would have been a breast enlargement...dumb I know, but something that I have always wanted. Not that I wanted surgery, but I would love for the breast size to match the hip size.
I never wanted to look like a porn star, just more in proportion thats all.

Last week, my wildest dream was to get back to being happy again.

I felt like I had thrown away my happiness.

Even while I was smiling at the kids, I was crying on the inside.

I hate to hurt people, even worse, the feeling that I have let someone down who placed their trust in me.

I HATE IT, I HATE IT, I HATE IT

After the email I received from Him, I would have to say, that He managed to give me my wildest dream.

He gave me back my happiness.

I spent the weekend smiling from the inside.

Yes, I know I am still un-owned and un-collared, but these are out of my control now, it is up to Him to let me know that I am again worthy of being His.

BUT, either way it goes, I am again happy.

How do you thank someone who has given you your wildest dream??

The words Thank You seem so inadequate.

If I were in the same room with Him right now, I would most likely be on my knees on the floor in front of Him crying, showing Him how much it meant to me, but I cant do that, physically impossible, so another solution must be found.

Perhaps all I can do is actually say Thank you, and make sure that the trust He places in me is not misused, misplaced, destroyed, or in any other way harmed.

This makes me wish that I knew HIS wildest dream, so I could give it a shot at making Him feel the same way I do now.

so, for Him,

From the bottom of my heart, Thank You

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